Just cropdusted the office
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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