i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
3pm strippers are depressing
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
