woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
