96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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