Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
