it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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