Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
