Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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