The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
