Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
A bitchslap is in order.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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