Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
