I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
