Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
wow bdsm is so cute
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