woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He's on the porch naked. Help.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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