it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
