And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My life is pants optional.
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