Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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