there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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