the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
