My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
