Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I wish there were birth control emojis
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
