the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
