Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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