Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize