she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
