Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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