we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
