I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
