RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
