I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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