im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
