Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
