peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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