cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
