I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
