thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
A+ Viking dick
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
