I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
