Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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