i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
