Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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