Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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