Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I can't turn off my feet"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
