Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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