that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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