What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
