so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
