Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize