Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Come on in and take your pants off
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