She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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