She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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