Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
