you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
