i think my tv is drunk
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
