I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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