just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
drinking out of a sandbucket again
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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