I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
