fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
