did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
