it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
