do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
