she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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