I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
