Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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