lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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