There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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